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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Though He Slay Me I Will Trust Him

I know now that we are in the final hours of Jace's life.  I never wanted the Bible character I relate to the most to be Job.  You see this entire year has been a nightmare for my family.  In January my mom had a minor stroke.  We have been to the ER numerous times with my granny.  In February my dad went into the hospital with chest pains and left with blood cancer.  We watched my dad waste away to nothing and wallow in pain until he had to use a wheelchair because it hurt so bad to walk.  In the midst of all that I was diagnosed with Lupus.   The only thing we could count on to bring us joy, was a hug and a kiss from Jace.  Hearing him laugh.  Hearing him say his combo of  I love you too and I love you so much - "I love you too much."  I don't know what we will do without that.  Jace was murdered.  How can the person I cherished the most in the universe have been murdered?  I cannot believe there is a reason for this, but I can say that God will turn evil into good somehow.  Jace's life will not have been in vain.  My mom said Jace's ministry was the same length as Jesus' and he touched so many of us and performed many miracles in my life at least.

I hope when I get to heaven he is the first person that runs towards me and jumps into my arms, and we can sing the veggie tales song together while I chase him around our mansion.

38 comments:

  1. I know at this point, you are trying to be realistic....but it is still not over until HE says it is over. I go back a few years and think of a lady I worked with...the doctors told them that her mother was brain dead. Good thing they didn't listen. She made a full recovery and lived many more years. I just can't imagine that God brought him through all that he has, just to let him die like this. I wish the best for all of you and can't even begin to image what you are going through (and hope I never have to). Just know that people here in KY are thinking of you and praying for you too.

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  2. I'm so sorry Stacey. Jace put up a good fight and will now no longer be in pain. He is in a place where he can truly be the little boy he wants to be.

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  3. He's not dead yet. Don't give up hope. Miracles can and do happen. I just pray that if he can live a somewhat normal life, then for him to return to you. If he will suffer but stay on this earth, then I pray for God's mercy. Either way, he knows he's loved. My thoughts are with you and little Jace.

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  4. I will pray even more so today. may God bless him and keep him with us. God bless you all, my heart goes out to you. I hope the man that did this to him pays. No child deserves what happened to Jace. Prayers are strong today, hang on Little Jace alot of people are praying for you, and stay strong little man.

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  5. Until this day I never knew that a broken heart could be the most excruciating pain one could endure. Or not endure. Jace is and always will be my JoyBoy. I never understood Grandmother Love till this beautiful child came into my life, and I will cherish every moment I've ever had with him forever and ever and ever. I just cannot imagine waking up a single day without him. We have begged God for his life. I'm still begging. God knows best. That is easier to say than to believe right now. I will write about my Jace when I can. I will find a way to keep his story a legacy of love. Right now I will struggle to find a way to go on at all. I don't see how I csn. My sweet, sweet, precious. precious boy. Three years is not enough. Grandma loves you too much, Jacey!!! Jesus love you more.

    Grandma

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  6. As I read your post I could not help but think of Job: The Lord has given and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

    Your testimony to God's faithfulness has challenged and inspired me during this difficult time. We will continue to pray for Jace & your family and plead for God's mercy and justice.

    Jeff

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  7. Your life and Jace's life are evidence that God is a loving God. It's not the lack of suffering that is evidence of God, it's how we suffer. God is in His heavens, though I do not understand in my mortality, I trust in Him and His great mercy.

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  8. unbearable, unspeakable, tragic. I am so sorry.

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  9. Wanted to share a poem I had saved from when I lost a loved one...

    THE PLAN OF THE MASTER WEAVER

    Our lives are but fine weavings
    That God and we prepare,
    Each life becomes a fabric planned
    And fashioned in His care.
    We may not always see just how
    The weavings intertwine,
    But we must trust the Master's hand
    And follow His design,
    For he can view the pattern
    Upon the upper side,
    While we must look from underneath
    And trust in him to guide...
    Sometimes a strand of sorrow
    Is added to His plan,
    And though it's difficult for us,
    We still must understand
    That it's He who fills the shuttle,
    It's He who knows what's best,
    So we must weave in patience
    And leave to him the rest...
    Not till the loom is silent
    And the shuttle cease to fly
    Shall God unroll the canvas
    And explain the reasons why-
    The dark threads are as needed
    In the Weavers skillful hand
    As the threads of gold and silver
    In the pattern He has planned.

    Constantly lifting all of you up in prayer...

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  10. Thank you for sharing your very personal agony with us. If little else, Jace's story is a reminder of both the good and evil in the world, and the fact that any of it can strike any of us at any time.

    My heart breaks for you.

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  11. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4zrA6jhSAI

    Praying fervently for you, friend. Praying for your peace and comfort; praying for a miracle for this baby.

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  12. Oh Stacey - I wish I could hug you right now. You're always in my thoughts. We all love you.

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  13. Stacey, I love you. Keep hope in your heart and know that all of your friends are thinking about you and your family today.

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  14. Stacey, thinking of you and your family. My prayers are with you.

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  15. I'm so so so sorry for your pain and suffering. I will pray for your family today and always. **hugs**

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  16. I started praying for Jace yesterday and will continue to do so daily. Jace has overcome so much. I bet he can conquer this. I also pray that Jesus will bring this person to justice who did this to such a sweet little guy.

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  17. I wish I could give you a hug right now, Stacey. I love you. I'm still praying for you and for Jace and for your family.

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  18. Though I do not know you or your beloved Jace my heart is breaking and through tears I read your blog. There are no words to express my sorrow at what that precious baby has gone through and I fight to keep from wanting to snatch justice from Gods hand and impart justice myself on the monster who committed this unspeakable horror on Jace and your family. May God have mercy on us all.

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  19. How sad that your Jace is the martyr used to bring the perpetrator to justice. While Jace is in my prayers, you are even more so. His fate is in God's hands and as a child will be welcomed to his eternal home if that is where he is called to.

    God has promised us that he will not give us more than we can bear, but his knowledge of what we can take and ours is often leagues apart. May you be given the strength you need and feel God's love for you, as well as ours.

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  20. Heavenly Father, I lift Jace and his family up to you in prayer. Only You know Your will for Jace. Should Your will be to allow Jace to stay on this earth, please give him a full recovery that has Your name written all over it. Should Your will be to bring Jace home to you, please wrap your arms around Jace's family and fill them with peace and one day understanding. Amen.

    This is my prayer for you.

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  21. I do not know you or your family personally but I will be praying for your little boy. May the person who did this feel God's wrath in the worst sort of way.

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  22. Oh, Stacey, my heart is breaking for you and your family. I love you, hon and my thoughts & prayers are with you.

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  23. I am so very sorry. I can not begin to imagine what pain you must be going through. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. May God hold you up for what lies ahead of you.

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  24. I am so very sorry to hear of the horror facing you and your family and your darling Jace. My heart is breaking for you and my eyes are crying. I fervently hope that Jace can find peace, and help to guide you there and that whoever is responsible for this can be brought to justice.

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  25. Stacey I am so very sorry, I don't even have words at the moment. I am praying for you, your family and of course for Jace. My heart is breaking for you but I know that God is good and He is faithful. He will turn this into something good even if there is no possible way to see it at this moment.

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  26. I am so sorry to hear of this. I read Jace's story just last night and was horrified. I am praying for you, your family, and most of all, baby Jace. I hope he can make it through this to bring you more of the very evident joy he seems to bring you and everybody around you every day. It's horrible to have someone who brings so much light to the world to be lost-- just remember that you know God is watching over him, whether here on earth or in heaven. Do not let this take you away from God in any way-- instead, lean on him even more for support and understanding. God is great, and he will love your family through this! We're all still cheering on baby Jace!

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  27. Dear Stacey, thank you so much for sharing your heart and allowing others into your pain and Jace's life. I can't stop thinking or praying for him since I got this blog days ago, and I don't even know you.

    I, too, am a foster parent, and I very well know the spiritual warfare that is arrayed against people who take in children, not to mention the children themselves, who are a God's precious jewels.

    We will pray through, and we will trust God. God will fulfill His purposes in your life. May God sustain your mother, family, and may God bless and use little Jace for His glory. Thank God he is in peace right now. Nothing shall by any means hurt him. He is in Jesus' arms of Love.

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  28. I'm sorry, my love. I will keep praying for you guys. Healing for Jace's little body, but should God finally decide that his time here is done, then I will switch my prayers to healing for your spirit. "I love you too much"

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  29. Stacey, I haven't stopped thinking of Jace and your family since I saw your tweet on Monday. Sending you much love and many, many prayers.

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  30. I just read Jace's story today and my heart is weeping for this tragedy.

    Jace, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. May God bring healing to you all.

    <3,
    Marny/ MarniacalMuse

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  31. My little brother wanted to post this but couldn't get it to post. His words are so wise for his young age.

    "I wish I could feel a different emotion besides anger. It's not fair, completely not fair. I've prayed for Jace and I know God has heard every single prayer that has been lifted to Him(from all of you). But, the one thing that we as humans struggle with the most is realizing God has the final judgement on every situation. He doesn't choose death for us to be angry with him, but sometimes, it's just best for the person to move on to a WAY BETTER place than earth. God gave us emotions for a reason and God wants us to be happy so please look at all of the positives that are coming from this certain situation. Jace's pain is ending, he will get to be with GOD...that's what we all desire!:) We should be happy Jace gets to spend ETERNITY in a place that is beyond perfect. It's a sad moment for those of us left here on earth but someday you will get to see him again. And you too will be with God in a place of perfection. Stay with God! He will get you through every situation, if you cry out to him. But just remember, sometimes he helps you in ways that aren't as obvious until you look at the big picture. Love God, like He loves you. You're right in compairing this to Job. God didn't test him but life did. God allowed things to happen to him only because he knew Jobs relationship with Him would be strengthened through struggles and pain. He also knew Job would remain faithful (just like you! :) God has a plan for you and I strongly believe(from what I have read) that God used your son as a part of the bigger plan.

    -Charlie W."

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  32. Shannon Clark-LeighJune 16, 2010 at 9:39 AM

    Dear God keep Jace in your amazing grace let the angels watch him through this fight until he wakes in morning light Amen it is never over until God says it is over my mom had stage 4 cancer sent home to die in a few months and we prayed and he gave us 4 more years with her see we need her because our dad was killed in a tragic plane crash so only God decides when it is our time ...this sweet angel was put here to change and touch lives and from all the messages it looks like he has changed yours and touched ours ....sweet angel Jace you know they say angels live amoung us Jace just might be one of them God bless

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  33. "I hope when I get to heaven he is the first person that runs towards me and jumps into my arms, and we can sing the veggie tales song together while I chase him around our mansion."
    This says it all...So so so sad, but what a joyous reunion it will be!

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  34. So sorry! I hope your nightmare will end soon. Wish I could help you in some way.

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  35. My heart breaks hearing about your precious little boy. I can only imagine the pain you are going through. I don't know you personally but you are definately in my thoughts and prayers and I will remember you for weeks to come. I will be "sitting with you" in the weeks to come.

    If you need more help on the criminal side, the Shaken Baby Alliance is a phenonmenal resource. They do investigations, help with prosecutions, and many many other things.

    My thoughts are with you while your sweet precious angel gets his wings.

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  36. Leslie, I am praying for you and for your family. May God's presence overwhelm you and His peace be your comfort. God bless you dear sister.

    Lindy

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