This afternoon they are taking Jace off the ventilator. He is being taken for a test right now to confirm that his brain is no longer alive. This is the hardest thing I can ever imagine going through, and I don't know what else to do but take life one minute at a time.
Jesus raised Lazurus from the dead. I wouldn't mind if Jace jumped up on the exam table and yelled "Guh Mornin!" like he used to.
I know it feels awkward when people are grieving. My best friend Andrea's mother died and I have listened to her tell me what hurt and what she appreciated in the days after her mom died.
For those of you who don't know what to do I am going to give you a present we don't often get. I am going to tell you.
1. Acknowledge our pain. Don't act like nothing happened.
2. Don't say God needed him or that God took us from him. A murderer took him from us.
3. Write, call, send an email, a facebook, or a comment. Tell us you care and you're thinking about us. So many people have done this for us, and it has meant so much. Some people I consider my good friends though have not said a word, and that kind of hurts.
4. Sit Shiva with us. This is a Jewish custom in which people just come and sit with the family for a seven day mourning period. You don't have to talk, just be with us. (If we have never met you, this will be weird - just sit with us in your heart)
5. After the shock and intensity has worn off. Two weeks from now - remember us and that we are hurting and be there for us then too. Excuse us if we are emotional or grumpy.
6. Remember Jace and stand up for children like him.
7. Pray for us. I don't know how we will ever be ok again. I don't know how, but I know we will.